From the ranch-obsessed to the really bad at goodbyes—we have the ideal holiday gear for you!

‘Tis the season to don your ugliest sweater and call it cute. If you’re in the market for a new one, lifestyle brand Midwest Vs. Everybody has a few funny, festive options!

First, there’s the Yeah No, No Yeah design, which pays homage to Midwestern indecision.

Next, there’s the Ope, ‘Scuse Me sweater, featuring a bottle of dressing and the words “just going to sneak past you and grab the ranch.”

Then, there’s the Fueled by Beer and Christmas Cheer sweater, which (as it suggests) has the big man holding a beer (we’ll pretend it’s a Two Hearted Ale.)

And finally, there’s the On the 12th Day of Christmas the Midwest Gave to Me design, which is too good not to list the whole dozen:

12 Random Seasons, 11 Unfilled Potholes, 10 Bottles of Ranch, 9 Tornado Sirens, 8 Runaway Cattle, You Betcha’s, 6 Games of Cornhole, 5 Ope Sorry’s, 4 Big Storms, 3 Welp Alrights, 2 Finger Waves, and One 30 Minute Doorway Goodbye.

Happy Holidays from the Midwest!