7 things you should never say in a Michigan dispensary

Weed shopping isn’t rocket science. But knowing what not to say can make for a better experience—and better cannabis.

MICHIGAN—Walking into a dispensary for the first time is its own kind of high.

The smell of fresh bud hangs in the air, jars glisten under bright lights, and rows of gummies look like an overloaded 7-Eleven candy rack. The budtender gives you a friendly nod and suddenly it hits you: This is nothing like scoring weed from your cousin’s buddy in a parking lot.

But just because it’s legal and regulated doesn’t mean it’s totally foolproof. Weed shopping isn’t rocket science, sure—but it is a culture with its own unspoken rules. And knowing what not to say can make your trip smoother, your budtender happier, and your stash a whole lot tastier.

You can start by avoiding these seven phrases: 

1. “What’s your strongest weed?”

This is the most common rookie mistake.

Chasing the highest THC percentage doesn’t actually mean you’re getting the best (or strongest) experience. It’s like buying whiskey based on proof while ignoring the taste.

That’s because when it comes to picking out good weed, the THC percentage doesn’t tell the whole story. Instead, budtenders will tell you that it’s the terpene profile—the actual compounds that shape the flavor and effects—that really make or break the cannabis experience.

Want something more uplifting? Look for limonene. Need to crash out? Myrcene is your friend. A 32% strain might look impressive, but if the terps aren’t there, the experience might fall flat.

Instead, try: “I’m looking for something really relaxing” or “I want something energizing.” Those types of phrases will give your budtender way more to work with, and you’ll probably walk out with something tastier, smoother, and better suited for the vibe that you actually want. 

2. “Do you sell edibles stronger than 200 mg?”

Unless you’re on tribal land, the answer is no. 

Michigan law caps recreational edibles at 200 mg of THC per package. If you need something stronger, you’ll just have to buy multiple packages—or head over to a tribally owned dispensary like Rolling Embers that doesn’t have to follow state regulations. 

Pro tip: Instead of chasing edibles with the most THC, ask your budtender about which products are most effective. Some gummies—particularly those with full-spectrum terpene blends—just hit harder (and smoother) than others, even if the THC milligrams are the same. 

3. “What’s the cheapest weed you’ve got?”

Asking for the absolute cheapest bag on the shelf at your local dispensary is like walking into a steakhouse and demanding the cheapest cut of meat. Sure, they’ll sell it and serve it to you—but don’t be shocked if it tastes like lawn clippings and burns like dryer lint.

There’s nothing wrong with shopping on a budget. But if you lead with price alone, you’ll probably end up with something harsh and disappointing. 

Instead, ask about what’s on sale.

Dispensaries run deals constantly, and sometimes top-shelf stuff gets discounted just because they overstocked. Cheap weed is everywhere nowadays, but cheap, good weed takes a little more finesse to find. Budtenders usually know which bargain buys are actually worth it.

4. “Can I smoke this in the parking lot?”

Short answer: no. Long answer: hell no. Dispensaries are regulated like hawks, and the last thing they need is a customer hotboxing their Subaru in plain view of their security cameras. 

Want to light up immediately? Head to a legal lounge (like Burn1 in Utica), or take that preroll home to your couch. The only thing you’ll spark up in the parking lot is a cop’s attention.

5. “I’ll take whatever you recommend.”

Budtenders love sharing their favorite products. But they aren’t mind readers, and they don’t know your experience level. Instead, give them a little nudge in the right direction—like: “I’m looking for a good daytime smoke that won’t knock me out” or “I need an edible that won’t leave me feeling groggy in the morning.” Try to be as specific as possible about your needs. The more details you give, the better the recommendation—and the better your cannabis experience.

Pro tip: Cannabis is medicine for many people. But if you waltz into your dispensary expecting budtenders to play doctor, prepare for some disappointment. Weed isn’t a one-size-fits-all cure, and budtenders can only really recommend what has worked well for other customers. 

6. “Is this your best weed?”

Every dispensary thinks their weed is the best. But “best” depends on what you want—and that can vary wildly in flavor, potency, price, and effects. Instead, try narrowing it down: “What’s your best tasting flower right now?” or “Which preroll has been selling the fastest this week?”

That way, even if you have no personal preference of your own, you’ll at least end up getting something that’s scoring good reviews from other stoners—not just whatever’s most expensive.

Pro tip: Spend some time researching on Reddit before you head to the dispensary. Michiganders are constantly sharing their product recommendations on the r/MichiGents page. 

7. “Is this stuff legal?”

Yes, friend. That’s why you’re buying it inside a building with a security guard, state sales taxes, and a computer system that’s logging every sale. This isn’t a sting operation; it’s Michigan.

You’d be shocked how frequently I’ve heard this question get asked at the pot shop—especially from the older generation of stoners who can’t seem to shake the paranoia of the good ‘ol days.

The Bottom Line

Budtenders aren’t gatekeepers. They’re guides. And if you skip the throwaway questions and get more specific about what you actually want from your weed, you’ll end up with better products and better conversations. Michigan’s green scene is stacked with talent, so lean on it.

READ MORE: What to do when you get too high at a Michigan county fair

Want more cannabis news delivered right to your inbox? Click here to sign up for The MichiGanja Report—our free weekly newsletter about all things marijuana.