Fellow Michigander,

It’s clear the folks who are naming weed in our state deserve a raise—or maybe a wellness check. From Unicorn Poop to F#ck Around and Find Out, this week’s top story is all about the strangest, funniest, and filthiest strain names that are on Michigan’s dispensary shelves. 

Keep scrolling for your weekly roundup of Michigan cannabis news, as well as a closer look at some upcoming deals and events. Plus, I put the so-called “Rolex of vaporizers” to the test. 

The only thing stronger than Michigan weed is the imagination of the people naming it. 

Some of these strain names are crazy. Some of them are straight-up crass. And all of them prove that Michigan’s growers have lost their damn minds—in the best way possible. 

SLEEPY TOKES: A new University of Michigan study found more than one in five young adults—particularly young women—are using weed or booze to help them fall asleep. But some researchers say both substances can ultimately end up messing with long-term sleep quality.

LOCKED & LOADED: The US Supreme Court is set to decide whether stoners can legally own guns. The case will test a long-standing federal ban that classifies cannabis users as “unlawful” gun owners. Ironically, President Donald Trump’s administration is set to ask the court to uphold those restrictions, even as he calls himself the “most pro-Second Amendment president” ever.

REGULATORS RELOADED: Michigan House Republicans want to give state regulators more power to shut down shady dispensaries—namely with new legislation that would allow the Cannabis Regulatory Agency to suspend business licenses on the spot for alleged wrongdoing.

BLACK MARKET BLUES: State lawmakers also want to crank up penalties for unlicensed growers while tightening the rules on how much cannabis Michiganders can legally possess. But some cannabis advocates still oppose prison for any type of marijuana-related offense.

SKI HIGH: The Grand Traverse Ski Club wants to tap into local marijuana tax revenue to help boost youth mental health through winter recreation. The group is reportedly asking for $62,000 to help upgrade snowmaking gear, safety radios, and timing systems at the Hickory Hills Ski Area. The goal: keep kids active and beat the winter blues—with a little help from weed taxes.

TOO LIT: Cigarettes, joints, and vapes are sparking an increased number of deadly fires across Michigan, reportedly accounting for up to 25% of fatal blazes recorded so far this year. About 11% of the fires were tied to smoking while on medical oxygen, according to state officials.

Over the weekend, I tested out the Zeus Arc GT4, a sleek, German-engineered portable herb vape that claims to be the “Rolex of vaporizers.” I put it through the paces with flower, dabs, and even the optional $60 “Iceborn” attachment that helps chill down your hits. And honestly, I was pretty impressed. If you’ve ever wondered whether a $300 vape is worth it, this one is for you. 

Got a Michigan cannabis product worth reviewing?

Let me know and I’ll check it out.

You know what pairs surprisingly well with weed? Lobster.

Local Roots Cannabis in Perry is teaming up with Cousins Maine Lobster for a one-day pop-up that’s worth putting on your calendar immediately. From 3-7 p.m. on Friday, Nov. 7, the nationally famous food truck—yes, the same one that scored a deal with Barbara Corcoran on Shark Tank—will be parked outside the dispensary (the old Rite Aid) at 685 N. Main St.

If you’ve been craving a reason to spark up and splurge on seafood, here it is. Expect buttery lobster rolls, bisques, and all the New England comfort food your munchies can handle. 

Free weed alert: House of Dank is turning every morning into a green rush.

For a limited time, the first 300 customers each day at all 14 House of Dank dispensaries will get a free ounce of weed with a qualifying purchase. The deal restarts daily and runs until supplies run dry. All you have to do is wake up early and spend at least $75 before tax—or $100 if you’re shopping in Monroe or New Buffalo—and you’ll walk out with a bonus ounce on the house.

Some places just stick with you. For me, that’s the Sun Theatre in Williamston, a one-screen time capsule that still looks and feels just like it did when I caught my first movie there as a kid.

The Sun has been lighting up Grand River Avenue since the 1940s, surviving decades of disrepair, ownership changes, and even the streaming revolution to keep its projectors rolling. The tickets are cheap. The popcorn is perfect. And every show still starts at 7 p.m. sharp.

Before heading in to see The Smashing Machine, I sparked up a Gas Face hash hole from Seed Junky—a strain that’s every bit as loud as the name implies. I didn’t have time to make it to my seat before I was smacked with an uplifting, creative, and talkative kind of high. It was admittedly not the best choice for zoning out in a dark theater, but a good time nonetheless.

Got your own MichiGanja in the Wild moment to share? Send in your best Michigan-made cannabis product pics out in the world for a chance to be featured in next week’s edition.

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Stay safe out there ‘Ganders. Recreational cannabis is only for use by individuals 21 years of age or older. Keep out of reach of children. It is illegal to drive a motor vehicle under the influence of marijuana. Contact the National Poison Control Center at 1-800-222-1222.