A lot of cannabis companies package their weed in the same boring plastic pouches. Last week, I bought some that came in a cartoonish box along with some collectible trading cards.

I’ll admit it’s a gimmick. But the flower inside was no joke.

Keep scrolling for my latest product review, along with a big legal win for Michigan stoners on probation, a second Monroe Township dispensary torched in two months, a corporate “weed factory” with national ambitions, and a fresh dose of reefer madness from Southwest Michigan. 

Roll one up and read on.

Some Michigan cannabis brands want to look luxurious. Others want to look medicinal. Dank & Disorderly wants to look like Saturday morning cartoons and a sugary box of cereal.

And honestly? I’m into it.

Longtime readers know that I’m a sucker for good branding. But this isn’t a total marketing gimmick. The folks at Delta Farms are actually growing weed good enough to back it up.

HIGH COURT: The Michigan Supreme Court ruled that judges can’t automatically prohibit people on probation from consuming marijuana, so long as they’re otherwise following state law. The ACLU of Michigan, which filed a brief in the case, said the ruling makes clear that being on probation doesn’t strip away the clear legal protections that Michigan voters approved in 2018.

REEFER MADNESS: Health officials in Berrien County are urging parents to talk to their kids about weed, citing state data that more than one in three high schoolers report having used it. Their core message about keeping weed away from developing brains is solid. But health officials there are also making claims about weed leading to harder stuff, which simply isn’t true.

WEED FACTORY: Lume co-founder David Morrow is making headlines for his plan to turn Michigan’s biggest cannabis company into an even bigger, nationwide brand. He calls Lume’s grow operation a “weed factory”—which tells you most of what you need to know. But it’s still worth a read, if only for how candidly Morrow describes the “knife fight” he sees coming.

FIRE SALE: Two Detroit men were arrested for allegedly breaking into Dacut Cannabis Company in Monroe County and setting it on fire. Police say the pair lit the building ablaze and fled on foot—only to get sniffed out by a police dog that found them hiding in a tree. It’s the second time in as many months that a Monroe Township dispensary has been torched.

DAB DAY: In honor of 710—the recent stoner holiday that spells “OIL” upside down—the Detroit Metro Times put together a fresh rundown of the 12 best live rosin makers in Michigan.

ICYMI: If you missed last week’s newsletter, I launched a new series—a stoner’s field guide to Greater Lansing—with recommendations on where to shop, what to eat, and where to wander when you’re baked in the Capital City. Detroit, Grand Rapids, or New Buffalo is up next. 

Last week, I asked for your favorite slang term for weed besides “weed.”

Pot won in a colossal landslide. It wasn’t even remotely close. For all the creative language this plant has inspired over the decades, you guys are remarkably plainspoken about it.

“Zaza” also received exactly one vote. So, the takeaway is clear. This newsletter is read by people who’ve been at this long enough to stop caring whether it sounds trendy. 

This week, let’s talk about the munchies. 

What’s the ultimate stoner snack?

I’ll tally the results and report back next week. 

The cannabis industry chews up dispensaries fast in Michigan.

So when one makes it to five years in business, that’s a milestone worth celebrating. 

House of Dank is doing exactly that on July 18, with an all-day party at its Center Line store—including food, games, giveaways, and a “special guest” that hasn’t been revealed.

I called the store to crack the mystery, but nobody there could tell me who’s coming. But they did tell me the first 100 customers will get something special. What exactly? That’s also classified. But it’s probably worth rolling up early if you’re anywhere near Macomb County this weekend.

Five years might not sound like much. But in this market, it’s the kind of milestone a lot of shops never get to see. House of Dank is clearly here for the long haul. And I salute them for it. 

I found another deal for the soccer fans.

Personally, I don’t get the appeal. But if you’re going to spend a whole month watching men jog around a field, you might as well win a free jersey and stay baked enough to enjoy the game.

LIV Cannabis is running a World Cup giveaway with three prizes up for grabs: one official match ball and two Team USA jerseys. To enter, just spend $55 or more in a single trip to one of their dispensaries in Detroit, Ferndale, Lake Orion, Lansing, Grand Rapids, or Westland. 

The more you spend before July 19, the more entries you’ll receive. But win or lose, you’ll still have weed. And for soccer fans—particularly those who were rooting for the US men’s team—that might be the only way to guarantee a good time.

The pre-movie parking-lot joint used to require some stealthy maneuvering.

Nowadays, most movie theaters are so empty that you could set up a lawn chair.

My partner and I caught the new Backrooms movie last weekend and practically had the whole theater to ourselves. A little sad? Sure. But it was also kind of perfect. Naturally, we got there early, parked at the very back of the lot, and smoked a joint before we went inside.

I won’t spoil the movie, mostly because I’m not sure I could if I tried. It’s a genuinely weird flick; the kind that rewards showing up stoned. I would not recommend watching this one sober.

Our pre-game: Red Crunch Berries from Peninsula Gardens.

This is one of my go-to brands because they always use full flower (not trim or shake) for their joints. The strain fits the name. It’s all gelato, dessert, and red pop. And the high was perfectly balanced for the occasion—relaxing, but not enough to knock me out before the credits.

Maybe next time I’ll actually bring the lawn chairs. 

Stay safe out there ‘Ganders. Remember that recreational cannabis is only legal in Michigan for ages 21 and up—and it’s NEVER OK to get high and drive.